Living with questions

What questions do we live with?  One question that I've been walking around with is, "What's my constraint?"  It's a very good question, especially if you put any stock at all in Constraint Theory, but it begs a larger question.  I'll share what I mean in a moment, but first a brief primer on TOC or Theory of Constraints.  This theory says that in any endeavor or organization or purpose, there is always one particular item, process or issue that constrains the output, throughput or capacity of the entire organization.  There is always a funnel somewhere.  So, to increase your capacity or maximize your productivity, or enhance your efficiency, it's essential to discover where your constraint is and do everything you can to unblock this funnel.  It's the only work that will make a difference, as long as this is truly the constraint.  So, back to "What's my constraint?"

Can you now see what's missing from this question?  In order for there to be a constraint, there must be a purpose or a goal.  This reminds me of the scene in Alice in Wonderland where Alice asks the Cheshire cat, "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here.  That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the cat.  "I don't much care where," said Alice.  "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the cat.  So my walk around question really needs to be modified somewhat.  I have to add in at least some goal or purpose.  For instance, I could say "What's my constraint in being a better listener?"  Then, I could start to analyze the various factors that block my active listening and paying close attention.  I could try to discover if the main funnel is the time spent, a wandering mind, a lack of interest, or something else.  Once I find the blockage, it behooves me to do everything possible to break it up and open the funnel wider.  Only then will I be able to be a better listener.  As an interesting side note - once the constraint is eliminated, another one will develop.  It's just the nature of the theory.  Like Roseanne Roseannadanna on Saturday Night Live would say,  "It just goes to show you. It's always something. If it's not one thing, it's another."

So, my real deep burning question and life purpose is this, "What's my constraint in loving God and loving other people?"  The more I study God's word and boil it down for my simple brain, the more I realize that this is the golden nugget.  Even Jesus reminded folks that all the law and the prophets hung on just two commandments - Love God and Love People.  That's all we're called to do.  If we get this right, everything else will be just fine.  So..... "What is my constraint in loving God and loving other people?"

Am I hard wired or soft wired to serve mainly me?  In other words, is it reversible or not - my predisposition to serve myself?  Certainly I am at least soft wired somehow to grab what I can, but can faith, worship, prayer, and God's word and God's Holy Spirit, revive me?

Maybe, my constraint is my laziness in NOT asking myself at each juncture in the day, "How can I love God and love others in what I am doing or in what I'm about to do?"  By using whatever means possible to ask this question numerous times a day, it may open up the funnel for greater love of both God and others.  I think I'll give it a try and see how it works.  

Adventures in 2012?

It's Monday, January 2nd. The new year has begun. I'm happily shepherding the flock at West Grove Presbyterian Church. We anticipate a grand year in 2012 with small groups starting, Stephen Ministry beginning in earnest and a great deal of enthusiasm in the congregation. I believe that it is also a year to simplify our life. To prayerfully discern our projects and direction and then to pour ourselves into it and go for it. In this simplification, we can hold life a bit looser! I mean, I feel like I have a "too tight" grip on life. I know I don't appear this way, but deep down, tend toward the neurotic, control freak, anxious person. Always thinking that I'm not prepared for life. Always thinking I have to "do" something. In many ways, it's a similar problem for others. We have been conditioned to be "human doings" rather than "human beings." A couple of weeks ago, I visited a friend who is 101 years old. She is quite lucid and a great conversationalist. She lamented that she was visited by some people who she did not know very well and they kept telling her that they loved her. She confided that she didn't feel that lovable and wondered what this was all about. She also said that she felt like she should be more productive, more deserving of love. Isn't this the human condition? We need to feel worthy or lovable or productive. I believe that God made us in His image and in that image, we are totally lovable and worthy of life. We are even worthy of eternal life, for God sent His Son Jesus to live and die for us. Even when we were sinning, unworthy, and going in the wrong direction, God takes the proactive stance and does this for us. What an awesome God we serve! It is truly going to be an awesome 2012!

Moving forward inspite of it all

Saturday, January 29th 2011. Cold, gray, wintery. Piles of snow everywhere and more on the way. Spending days snow blowing, shoveling, wrapped up, braving the elements. Also working on a Medicaid application - very tedious and time consuming. Buried in stacks of folders and documents. Finally, today, doing battle with a Blackberry that does not connect to the local server and can not get or send emails. Life is a struggle sometimes.

Here's the good news. No the great news! God knows us intimately and completely. Knows how we struggle to live and move and be. Knows our earthly troubles and tribulations. God faced these and overcame these and did it for us. So, if Jesus Christ completed this for me. Came, modeled life for us, faced trials, temptations and troubles and beat it all. I can live freer, more confidently, more boldly in the arms of Almighty God - who loves us with an undying, irresistible love. Not that I can live rightly by following Jesus, but I can live faithfully by following Jesus and this is what God desires. So, Spring is coming, the earth is blanketed (at least here in Lancaster) with frozen moisture that will nourish God's earth and bring forth life!

I tarry forward feeling God's love and smile. Have an awesome week!

What are YOUR Daily Questions?

Last week I heard a podcast on Marshall Goldsmith's routine of asking and getting asked a list of Daily Questions. Then I went to his phenomenal website - marshallgoldsmithlibrary.com! What a gold mine of resources! Anyway, here's the powerful technique that could be used by anyone to go further faster! Make an agreement with a friend to have a short once a day phone call to have this person ask you a list of your own questions. These questions will be written by you and sent to your friend. They will be questions that YOU want to pay attention to in your life. They can be anything at all. They are personal and just for you. And, when your friend asks you the questions, your response should be YES, NO or a number. For instance, What is your weight? Did you do your devotions today? On a scale of 1 - 10, how happy are you today? Did you give someone a compliment today? etc. When they ask you these questions, they are only permitted to listen and not to comment at all. There is tremendous power in having someone ask you "your own" questions. You may find that you make changes and grow in your ability to get things done, become kinder, weigh less or become happier. The power is simply in that you pay attention to certain aspects of your life. Give it a try. Let me know how you make out.

The power of focus

So on Monday afternoon, I attended a teleclass on promoting my coaching business. It was the first hour of a four part series, held via webinar format with a powerpoint slide deck and a conference call. It helped me see the importance of really nailing my "ability to solve a specific customer problem." What I mean is, this 60 minute workshop showed me once again how critical it is to be top notch at providing a solid solution to a client's particular problem. Then, and here's where the promotion comes in, tell the whole world about your specific expertise and niche. When you hone your ability to provide an outstanding solution, puff yourself up and boldly announce your focused expertise.

Let me give you an example: Rather than claim that you are able to encourage and support people to achieve abundant lives; say "I am able to provide organizational expertise that will save you 2 hours per week." Or, maybe, "I am able to support your creation of a world-class leadership development program for your staff."

The point that was well made is that we all are looking for tailored, nuanced solutions to our conundrums. We want answers to our questions, solutions to our problems and healing for our diseases. So, if that's true, then appropriate promotion of a product or service will be a precise explanation of what solution you are able to provide. That's a keeper. That's brilliant marketing wisdom. That just makes sense.

So, it begs the question: "What is your focused expertise? What precise solutions are you able to provide?" Let us all know! We will be clamoring for your product or service!

Empowering thoughts in the New Year

Have been very engaged in life for the past few weeks. I guess that's another way of saying - been busy. Trying to be productive and not just busy. Here's what I'm learning. I have an incredible fondness of learning and discovering new ideas in the leadership, organizational design, and management area. A number of events are pushing me in that way (and I'm quite grateful). First is a look at some Positive Psychology websites and blogs. They will point toward happiness issues and focusing on your natural skills and abilities. Secondly, today, I attended a teleconference class that indicated the use of "subject matter expertise" in solution oriented coaching. This is helping me understand the fact that everyone is looking for "real results," and "solutions" to life's conundrums. So, as we work toward focusing on our wisdom, experience, skills and abilities, we are far more likely to be "just the right fit" for partnerships or coaching engagements.

Today I googled, "cutting edge management theory" and got connected with a host of wonderful tools by Naomi Stanford (naomistanford.com) If you are doing change management or organizational design, I recommend her site.

Finally, when I think back on some of my happy, in the zone moments, I think of lessons I've learned in management books and in podcasting these nuggets in my iTunes podcast series -
charliegross.com/charliecreativity.rss
(note - this podcast is now available at charliegross.com/ee.rss and is incorporated into the Empowering Encouragement podcast)

Anyway, I'd encourage you to think about your own "in the zone" moments and what brings you great pleasure in your work. You might discover that just as Frederick Buechner said - (paraphrasing - The place God calls you is where the worlds greatest needs and your greatest joy intersect) God's Extravagant Blessings!

My Morning Routine

It's Monday, December 27th and the high Christmas celebration is behind us. We celebrated in a grand style with food, family, laughter and fun! The question that I answered a few times recently is, "What's your routine that keeps you in good shape?" Here is the answer.

I either get up at 6am or 6:30am these days. I drink a glass of water, stretch, wake up and then hit the treadmill for 40 minutes. While tromping away, I listen to a number of different podcasts on my iPod. I love - pray-as-you-go, Harvard Business Review, Inspiring Words of Encouragement (Zig Ziglar), The Look and Sound of Leadership, The Daily Boost, Coach Radio, my own - Empowering Encouragement or Charlie's Creativity Podcast Series, Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders, Lean Six Sigma, A New Way to Handle Everything, and of course many from the iTunes University side of iTunes. (If you haven't tried this - you definitely want to prioritize this).

After 40 minutes on the treadmill, I lay down a rubber mat and do my 100 crunches (situps, but with raising your knees as well as your head), then 50 pushups and finally, some "super man" exercises for my lower back (taught by my son, Jeff - lay on stomach and raise right arm straight out and left leg straight out and then do the left arm and right leg - strengthens lower back).

I follow this with breakfast of cereal with cinnamon, blueberries, granola, flax seeds and yogurt. I have a double espresso and read a daily piece of the Bible, so that I complete the Bible in a year. Then, I write one page in my prayer journal - praying for wisdom, strength, insights, creativity, my family, my friends, and whatever else God gives me in that time.

There you have it! This routine works extremely well for me. It keeps the body toned up, the mind engaged in God's Word, and the prayer life active. I hope this helps you craft your own useful, healthful routine. Have an awesome 2011!

Resources out the wazoo

If you ever need a cheap dose of encouragement, check out the phenomenal library of free empowering podcasts on iTunes. Also, look at the iTunes U side of this engine for hundreds of universities that offer audio and video content from top notch speakers and motivators! Just yesterday, I did a search on iTunes for leadership, opened the iTunesU list and clicked on the popularity button. This then sorted the offerings according to their popularity. I pulled up the 4th one in the list and watched General Colin Powell deliver a short vignette on building economic capacity. Very powerful, uplifting and inspiring. This was just a 16 minute piece of the hours of free content offered.

You could build an entire course or workshop around some of this freely offered knowledge.

Today, the world of information is at your finger tips and key strokes. What are you waiting for? Engage it, synthesize it, connect with it in new ways and bless others through your insights.

An Awesome Day - Dec 9, 2010

WOW! What a great day! I had the honor to drive four members of a family of seven Nepalis to the Lancaster County Council of Churches clothing bank. This family had just arrived in the United States two days ago after spending 18 years in a refugee camp in Nepal. I can't even imagine!

Anyway, the 32 year old son, "Madonie" and his wife, mom and dad needed some warm clothes, so I picked them up at 8:45am and headed to North Marshall Street. We were met with a warm welcome and given a number to sequence us through the clothing bank. It was a smooth process. We left with about 5 or 6 bags of clothes and some blankets. (they could pick up clothes for the other 3 who couldn't fit in the car).

After my salad lunch, I went to work on installing a WordPress blog on my charliegross.com website. I use gate.com as my host for this one and the installation went very smoothly. I am still learning how to use the dashboard, but it is quite easy to install a fairly sophisticated site. Check it out when you get a chance - charliegross.com/postconf/ Well, I'm celebrating a great day! Extravagant Blessings!

Thinking Really Big and More

The other night as I laid my head on my pillow, it dawned on me that I was holding on to way too much and trying with all MY might to do what I wanted. It dawned on me that by yielding to the perfect will of Almighty God, I will rest better, perform better and be in "the zone." I prayed that briefly before going to sleep. I slept better than I have for a while and woke up so refreshed and energized, it had to be all GOD! So, we certainly need to use all of our gifts for the improvement of life and the glory of God, but we'll do much better when we give up doing it under our own strength and rely on the unlimited strength and power of God.

On November 18th, I spoke to the men's banquet at Chestnut Level Presbyterian Church. I spoke about my military career and how it started out as a Titan II Missile Combat Crew Commander. The responsibility as a Second Lieutenant was as a Deputy Missile Combat Crew Commander for a Titan II missile and attached warhead. The warhead (check it out on google) is a 9 megaton warhead. When detonated, this warhead is capable of completely wiping out a 990 square mile area (or the size of Lancaster County, PA). Well, in thinking about that tremendous destructive power, I wondered about how to unleash a "9 megaton blessing blast" to bless and heal a 990 square mile area. How do we think big enough to bring about harmony, peace, prosperity and goodness rather than total annihilation? I have been counseled plenty of times to begin with myself. Start small and do what I can. That's probably "ok" advice, but I also think that we typically don't "go for it." We don't name and claim lofty ideals.

Without aiming high, setting really grandiose goals, we fall short, achieve less than what is possible and muddle around in the mire of mediocrity. What do you think? Can you dream BIG? Let's go for it together! I believe in you and your unstoppable abilities to bless!

Another Gorgeous Day!

Today is Thursday, Dec 2, 2010 and it is sunny and cold with blue skies and puffy clouds. Today, I'm back into my full scale exercise routine - complete with a 40 minute treadmill workout, 100 crunches, 50 pushups and some superman (lower back) exercises. Feelin really good!

Here's the point: The last few days, I had a lower back pain and a kink in my neck that prevented some of this (not the treadmill, but the floor exercises). Through patience, persistence and just letting the ole body heal, I'm back on top of my game. It's easy to get "down," discouraged and frumpy with the aches and pains of life. It's faithful to look forward, stay positive and keep on moving! You and I have been mightily blessed with gifts, abilities, and skills to make others' lives better. Let us focus on dusting these off, polishing them up and letting them shine for the glory of God!

The future just keeps getting better and better. Thanks for stopping by and spending a few minutes with me!

Encouragement through aches and pains

Today is Tuesday, November 30th. Woke up with a stiff neck and a back ache. Still, I got up, put on my running shorts and shoes and hit the treadmill. Did 40 minutes on the treadmill, listened to some motivational podcasts (have a whoppin 160 gig iPod) and got the blood flowing. The kink in the exercise schedule is not being able to do my 100 crunches (because of the back thing). Anyway, I am now at the keyboard, working in my beautiful home office and pushing on to what needs to be done.

Even with aches, pains, gray cloudy skies, and looming unemployment, I am encouraged with skills, abilities, and passions to serve God and God's people.

I am launching a ministry of encouragement through coaching conversations. If you need some encouragement in your life, give me a call - 717.742.0711 and let's chat.

Know this - no matter what your ailments are, no matter what your life circumstances are, you are loved with an unconditional love! You are beautiful, unique and deeply treasured. Be encouraged!

Where have I been and What's next?

WOW! It's been over a month since I posted! Well, to answer the first question - I've been on vacation! Spent 2 weeks on the luxury liner - Solstice with Celebrity Cruise lines. Cruised all over the Caribbean and had a ton of fun. It's my preferred way of relaxing and forgetting about the world. Did a bunch of reading and reflecting to get ready for the next adventure! I believe that God has an amazing adventure in front of me, so really needed this time to mentally prepare.

To answer the next question: I will be leaving my role as the Associate Executive Presbyter for Donegal at the end of December 2010. In January I will be launching into a ministry of coaching. This might entail a church setting in which I will be coaching people to use their wonderful God-given gifts for ministry and/or it may also entail doing some coaching of God's people to achieve more in life than they could ever imagine. You see, I probably said this before, but I have the gift of encouragement, so really get energized and blessed by using this gift to full advantage!

And, finally, here's the BIG IDEA! Have you ever gone to a conference or workshop, gotten all charged up with new ideas for life or work and then couldn't implement them at home? I am putting together a collaboration of coaches who will help solve that problem! We can hold a few powerful conversations with you and get those new ideas integrated into your life and work! This is absolutely HUGE! See my website at postconferencecoaching.com for more details!

Ideas - the fuel for life

I'm discovering that I'm the happiest when I can spend time with new creative, entrepreneurial ideas! I will often get huge, daunting ideas for business ventures or other "life enhancing" enterprises. These give me a boost, a shot of adrenalin, a smile on my face and the happy song in my heart. So, I really enjoy getting these ideas and mulling them over and even making some lists of next steps. Here's the down side of that. I will tend to not "go for it!" I see the obstacles in time, money, relationships (connections) and then will go on to the next thing. In some regards, this is just life, but on the other hand, am I being unfaithful to the world in not pursuing a larger dream?

Perhaps I simply don't cultivate enough relationships in life to bounce these ideas off of. Maybe with a few more conversation partners and connections, I could see how to make some more giant ideas (visions) become reality. Perhaps with some "git r done" people on the road beside me, I could use my God-given imagination to truly bring more good things to life (sorry GE).

Well, that's where I am today. If you have some coaching questions for me to help me flesh this out, by all means - send them to me at: cwgross@gmail.com Have an awesome day!

Slowing, Focusing, Paying Attention

After 77 hours of intensive coach training, having been coached for a number of months, and reading extensively in the field of coaching, you'd think I would be slowing down, focusing more and paying attention. That is what I keep practicing and trying to do. But, every now and then, I start to speed up, get in a hurry, skim the reading, skip the details and miss the really really obvious.

The other day, I had to take a document to AAA to be notarized. Here's what happened. I must have been in a hurry in filling out the form to be notarized and took the date March 12, 2007 and entered, March 7, 2007. Well, I got it notarized, sent it off and thought I was done with this project. To my dismay, a few days later, I received a note saying that I should have had March 12, 2007 on the notarized document, so I had to do it over. My initial thought was, "give me a break. Just change the date and make it right." But then I realized, it was my problem, not theirs. I re-did the form correctly, got it notarized again and sent it off.

What did I learn? I still have to be mindful in my daily actions, focus intently on each project in front of me and perform with excellence in a moment to moment time frame. Rushing off to the next project with a trail of shabby performance behind is not good stewardship or efficient use of time. Maybe this is helpful for you!

May you breathe deep the breath of God and be intensely IN the present moment! It's a wonderful present that God is giving you right now! Extravagant Blessings! Charlie

Thinking, Speaking, and Acting like a Coach

Recently, I started a new podcast series on iTunes called Empowering Encouragement Coaching. It is available at itpc://www.charliegross.com/ee.rss At this point, it is a mirror site (except for the artwork) of my Charlie's Creativity Podcast Series (www.charliegross.com/charliecreativity.rss)

I'd love for you to check this out! My latest podcast is all about my current task of creating powerful questions for various contexts. This was a request from my mentor coach and is creating a whole new me! I am thinking, speaking, and acting in a fresh new way that is helpful, supportive, and taking people to new heights of possibility.

My hope is to use my God given gifts to bless the ministers and members of the Presbytery of Donegal as I serve the Sovereign, Holy and Life-giving God! It is a privilege to serve others and see how powerful questions spur us all on to new ways of crafting the kingdom of God.

If you want to know more about this work, visit my website at: www.empoweringencouragement.com

If you want to enter a conversation about the possibility of a coaching partnership, send me an email - cwgross@gmail.com May the Lord Extravagantly Bless You!

Wednesday, Aug 25th 2010

Good Morning Friends! What a glorious day God provided! Today, I'm really energized by the constant stream of outstanding resources that are available for us to create the life we want. Let me tell you about just two of them. The first is www.coachradio.tv This is a wonderful radio/podcast show that you can subscribe to with excellent "build your business" tips, coaching tips and just great life enhancing advice. I've been listening to Justin now for a few days while doing my morning treadmill routine. It's a great great resource to check out.

The second one is www.geniuscatalyst.com. I just briefly looked at this a moment ago and am recommending it anyway. Michael Neil seems to have a quite comprehensive website with resources, ideas and wisdom that might help you out. Well, that's the encouragement for today. If you find other excellent resources or ideas to pass along, please send them to me at: cwgross@gmail.com Until next time, have a wonderfully productive and positive day!

August 24th 2010

Have been contemplating the coaching phenomenon lately and how much more productive I am when I am actively engaged with a coach and accountability partner. I've also been thinking about the vignette where a rural preacher and his son went to church on Sunday and the preacher had the basket for donations at the back of the church. As he went in, he placed a five dollar bill in it. He then proceeded to prepare for the worship service and led worship, preached and greeted people. On the way out, he emptied the basket of donations. The only offering in the basket was his five dollar bill. His son noticed this and told his father, I guess if you wanted to get more out of it, you had to put more in.

I think about this on a number of levels. If we want to get more out of life or our work or our relationships, we have to put more in to them! The other level is a thought I had last night as I drove home from a Camp Donegal meeting. If I want to get more out of myself and coaching, I need to invest a higher sum for a good coach who will push me to greater achievement.

Think about this for your life! You may want to visit www.empoweringencouragement.com or send me an email to cwgross@gmail.com! Lord's Blessings!

Saturday Aug 21 2010

A spectacular day that God has made! Got a chance to get some extra sleep and then lounge with coffee, cereal and Kindle on the deck. It's the little things in life that often will give you an encouraging boost. I've polished up my sermon for Guinston Presbyterian Church, audio recorded it for practice, read a few more pages of Transforming Church (by Kevin Ford), and even twittered from the Kindle about the need for leadership to create outwardly focused (often uncomfortable) situations for growing people in the missional church.

I've been encouraged by God these days to look toward which of my gifts, skills and abilities give me the most energy and enthusiasm. These are my sweet spot. By operating in my sweet spot and cultivating these skills and abilities, I am much more prone to bless God's people, the world and even myself. I'm wondering if you have a sense of where your sweet spot is. What is it that you love to do that is outwardly blessing and value adding for the world and God's people? Think and act on these things! You will be enormously blessed and you will be a blessing! And, that is exactly why you are here!

August 19th

I told you so! You can't control your feelings. Yesterday, I woke up and just felt blaaaaa. Today, I have more energy, more zest, more life. These things are not controllable. What IS controllable is what you do! Your behavior is controllable. Yesterday, I actually got quite a bit done. I am busily working on a Fall presentation around the "mission seeds we sow." I made great progress yesterday, even when feeling just blaaaa. Also, attended a 2 hour telephone conference call course on coaching. Like I said, I got a lot done.

This morning on my treadmill, I finished listening to the George Edwards audiobook, The Bluffer's Guide to Life Coaching. What a funny, cutting, insightful look at coaching. It contains quite a few truths and yet does it in a humorous way.

The question to you today is this, "What is your life purpose, your "going for it" goal?" and "What are you doing today to take you one more step toward that goal or purpose?" It doesn't matter how you feel today, but it does matter what you do. Bless you in your life and ministry!